


Contingency

by waxjaw



Category: Tribe Twelve
Genre: Angst, eyes where they shouldnt be, mild body horror, noah is very tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 02:27:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21348739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waxjaw/pseuds/waxjaw
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Contingency

_Noah_  
  
His right hand stays tangled in his hair, an attempt to ground himself. If he doesn't look at it maybe it'll go away. Maybe it'll stop talking and he can go back to studying. Maybe, just maybe this is a dream and he'll wake up and not have to deal with this.   
  
_Noah look at me_  
  
He doesn't. He pushes himself off his bed so he can set off to the kitchen. He thinks if he ignores it that it will go away. Running a hand through his tangled hair he exhales. It's tangled from all the pulling and scrunching he's done to it, he has to pull his hand free with a bit more force than he's comfortble with.   
  
Grabbing his camera he takes a minute to turn it on before he's offering a grin. It's a distraction and he desperately needs that right now, he needs to feel like he isn't alone in this. "Hey guys! Just wanted to pop in and let you all know that things are going well!" Noah pulls his bedroon door shut behind him as he pads into the kitchen.   
  
_Noah look at me. Noah. Look. At Me._  
  
Still he doesn't. He sets the camera down on the counter offering a half assed wave to it. Except the wave isn't half assed and does well to catch anyone watching up on what is talking and why he doesn't want to look. He doesn't want to be alone in this and the only thing keeping him company is a fever dream.  
  
"Things have been really good here! No issues at all! I think things are starting to go better!" His voice is shakey and high pitched but he hopes he doesn't come off as scared.   
  
_Noah? Noah Look At Me._  
  
He doesn't check twitter because he expects questions. He also doesn't check it because he expects his viewer to be concerned about him after a video he hasnt _uploaded_ yet. But that seems to happen anyway and he can't explain why.  
  
He has to swallow a lump, his throat is dry and its hard to breathe as he sinks to his knees. His hands are in his hair despite how obviosuly it irritates the eye that's found home on the palm of his hand. Still he doesn't look at it because doing that would mean there actually is an eye on the palm of his hand. His heart hammaring in his chest serves as a testiment to how fucking terrified he is by this.   
  
_Noah this isn't that bad. Just look at me Noah_  
  
Squeezing his eyes shut he inhales sharply. His chest is tight to a point where it hurts and it makes it next to impossiple to calm down so he can breathe. He thinks his panic attack is justified but he wants to calm down. He _needs_ to deal with this.  
  
_Noah why won't you read the journal?_  
  
"I can't! Why don't you understand that?" His face burns from the crying he's done but he can't stop another sob from escaping him. He can't bring himself to read the journal. He can't bring himself to even open it. Maybe he's scared to learn the full extent of Mary's wrath. Maybe he's afraid to learn what the collective did to his cousin. He isn't sure which but regardless he can't bring himself to open it and this doesn't help.   
  
"I can't open it!" He does open his phone though. Talking to the camera helps but he can't really vent to it like he can twitter. He opens the app with frantic hands, he needs to get this out before it tears itself out of him. So he does, he explains that theres an eye on the palm of his hand to the disbelief of his followers. The audience that had watched the video is either fucking with him or hadn't actually watched it. He isn't sure which is worse to think about.   
  
_Noah you need to help Milo. _  
  
He doesn't know how. Actually he does but helping Milo means reading the journal he really is too shaken to touch. A part of him struggled to think opening and reading it would help anyway.   
  
_Noah! _  
  
"Fuck you!" He slams his hand into the nearest wall hoping it'll get it to shut up. it doesn't. all it does is send him reeling back with his free hand covering his eyes. He shouldn't be surprised but he is, for one reason or another he didn't expect to feel the pain of it. He does.  
  
He does it again using the wall to push himself towards the bathroom.   
  
_Noah you need to look at me._  
  
"Noah," Firebrand rests a hand on his shoulder pushing him back away from the bathroom. "Look at me," he's careful to keep his voice calm so he doesn't scare his younger self. He's already taking a risk by offering his help so out in the open. But he does it.   
  
Pulling Noah to the couch he sits so they're facing eachother. Once hand holding Noah's hand in place while he pulls a pocket knife out to use for this. It's not ideal but he has a better chance with this than Noah does. A fact he knows of course because he was at a point where was sitting in Noah's place.   
  
His grip is tight as he gets to work outlining the eye. Noah tries to pull his hand free of course, hissing through his teeth as he tries to tug his hand free. It doesn't work, Firebrand needs to finish this and he isn't going to let Noah coward out of it.   
  
He repeats it, the same shape except it's vertical with the pupil in the middle. He doesn't look at Noah instead focusing on severing his younger self from the watch of something that doesn't need to watch him.   
  


  
  
Running his hands through his hair he pulls his legs up to his chest. He wants a drink but he can't bring himself to grab one, not with the shape he's in right now. Dropping his hands he's careful to keep his gaze averted, he doesn't want to see the aftermath. He ends up looming anyway whether he means to or not.   
  
The eye is gone but there's an obvious scar that he doesn't think will go away anytime soon. Collapsing to lie down on the couch he doesn't make an effort to keep from crying.


End file.
